


Reciprocal

by Tortellini



Category: Gattaca (1997)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Best Friends, Canon Disabled Character, Disability, Disabled Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, False Identity, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gen, Heavy Angst, Homophobia, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Identity, Identity Issues, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, Loss of Identity, Male Friendship, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Disintegration, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Physical Disability, Secret Identity, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000, Wordcount: Over 1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-28 20:58:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10839324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tortellini/pseuds/Tortellini
Summary: Reciprocal: given, felt, done in return; (of an agreement or obligation) bearing on or binding to parties to each other equally.Wouldn't it truly be wonderful to feel like you were valued as yourself and not for your accomplishments? Was that too much to ask?Oneshot





	Reciprocal

> 1.

Jerome Morrow was perfect. And when I say perfect, I actually mean perfect. He was genetically modified before he was even born, to be the most beautiful and healthy person he could be. He didn't even have a chance to mess up.

> 2.

The Olympics. Swimming. Jerome has trained for years and years for this, trained to be the very best, and now it's over. It's finally done. He climbs out of the pool, chlorine running from his hair and down his cheeks. Someone hands him a towel. He only has eyes for the scoreboard.

He wins...second place. Silver medal. The corners of his mouth turn down; he tastes something sour. Because how can someone who's supposedly "perfect" be second best at the same time..?

> 3.

It's night, maybe eleven o'clock--not before midnight, he remembers--when he goes to the highway. People will later tell him he was drunk out of his mind and that he should praise the Lord for still being alive. Jerome scoffs quietly to himself when he hears this. First of all, they're wrong: he was sober, and he wasn't lucky in the way he wanted to be. And second, remind him again when it ever became their business?

He stands in the dark on the side of the highway, breathing deeply. Cars rush by, their headlights acting as eyes and beacons... He takes a deep breath. One he hopes will be his last. 

And he steps out into the path of a truck. 

> 4.

Jerome doesn't die. He's crippled, though. Imagine that: a "perfect" man being crippled. In a suicide attempt. It's laughable. He finds himself laughing at a lot of dark things lately. 

> 5.

He quits his job. Moves onto the first floor of his apartment, because of the wheelchair. And he basically does nothing. Jerome is really smart--another "perfect" aspect to him. All of this just lets his mind wander, and not in healthy productive ways.

> 6.

When he meets Vincent, he doesn't really like him. Vincent is an invalid, a "not-perfect" guy, wanting to cheat and go into space--and wanting to take  _ his _ own identity on top of all that. He resents him. 

No, Vincent isn't his friend. His only friend is alcohol. He expects it to stay that way.

> 7.

It doesn't. Vincent is smart, kind of like him--but he is now Jerome, since he took his identity, Jerome supposes. It's all very odd. Jerome goes by his middle name Eugene now. As time goes on, he finds himself not minding. He starts to think  _ Jerome  _ deserves to go into space now too. He decides he'll help him. That's just how nice he is.

> 8.

Jerome somehow manages to pull it off, until the guy dies. Eugene gets suspicious. After all, his DNA (an eyelash) was there at the scene of the crime--the real Vincent's eyelash too. Jerome says he didn't do it. Eugene's response is "uh huh yeah, sure". He thinks his friend is a bit pissed.

Jerome is so scared now. He thinks he's going to be recognized as Vincent, even after all they've done. Eugene sighs and shakes his head. His response to that, now, is "They're not going to see Vincent in you. _ I _ don't even see Vincent in you anymore. You'll be fine". And it's true: he only sees himself.

> 9.

When he calls and asks him desperately to "be himself" for a few hours, and to pretend to be sick to cover for him, Eugene agrees, in his cynical way of his. But that involves going upstairs. And...he can't move his legs. 

Well fuck it. He told him he'll do it, so he'll do it. He's not sure how he does, but he manages to drag himself up two huge twist-y flights of stairs. Just in time too. 

Eugene does a good job, seeing as he's pretending to be himself. He thinks the woman is a little freaked out. He makes her kiss him with an easy smirk twitching his lips. When Jerome comes, he stares at her in apprehension and adoration.

> 10.

Jerome carries him back downstairs bridal-style, one arm underneath his knees and the other against the small of his back, and he lays him on his bed. Eugene stares at the ground, but he lifts his eyes to look directly at Jerome's, and then he smiles coolly like everything's all right. 

Jerome says good night and he leaves. But Eugene doesn't go to sleep. He feels nauseous. He hated the way his friend stared at that woman... A dull burning of jealousy makes his shoulder twitch. He shudders and closes his eyes. 

> 11.

Homosexuality, along with everything else "undesirable", was supposed to be weeded out with the "perfect" people; apparently it wasn't, at least not all the way. He doesn't tell him. Jerome cares for him like a brother at best (probably not even that). So he just drinks even more and ignores the pain.

> 12.

Jerome gets his wish. He finally gets to go into space. Before he leaves, he comes to say goodbye. Eugene is anxious; he thought he wouldn't come. But that's ridiculous. He had to, to get more blood samples. 

Jerome doesn't take them. He says he's sick of lying. Eugene thinks he's crazy, and he gives him a look. Anyway, Jerome asks what he plans to do while he's away. Eugene gets quiet. He looks him in the eyes again, and he tells him "travel".

The worst part about it is that it's not a lie.

> 13.

He's on the rocket. Jerome--no, he's Vincent again--Vincent is on here, he tells himself vaguely, as he climbs into his place. It's hard to move his legs but he manages. When he closes the door with a  _ snap! _ , his vision is blurry. He shouldn't cry. He wasn't upset the last time. What's changed?

Vincent? The fact that he was able to actually help him? He's not sure. But he takes a deep breath. 

> 14.

He pulls out the silver medal he won all those years ago. Slowly, painstakingly, he puts it on around his neck. Careworn fingers hold it, clutch at it, against his chest. It's all right. He can do this. He clutches the medal till the rims make his palm bleed; and he dimly hopes Vincent will forgive him. Then he wonders if he'll care. 

> 15.

When the engine starts, he feels pain like he's never imagined before, not even when he was hit by a car. But then it dims. Jerome Eugene Morrow dies quickly. Finally.


End file.
